February 1: Lost in the Woods

I took my second bi-weekly walk with a friend yesterday, and it was just as delightful as our first. We decided to traipse through the woods near my house, which required snow pants, boots, and lots of layers, but it was totally worth it. I definitely do not take advantage of the fact that I live near such amazing trails. I try not to get too disappointed and upset with myself for not taking advantage of the natural world literally at my doorstep, and instead of feeling guilty I am trying to feel delighted that I was able to enjoy it yesterday and share it with a friend. And maybe, hopefully, I will be inspired to do it more often. I also am delighted in myself that I did not cancel yesterday. It was cold, and a nor'easter was approaching, and I was tired; there were a million excuses I could have used to get out of this walk, but I am so glad I didn't cancel (just like that time I didn't cancel my first date with my now husband because I had gotten back from NYC super late and was super tired, but I sucked it up and went on the date anyway, which ended up lasting  practically all night until like 3am, and the rest is history). 

My husband and I have taken the trails by our house at least a handful of times, mostly to the reservoir (Dykes Pond), but once to the top of Mt. Ann, another time to the old entrance of Mt. Ann Park (which is no longer an entrance as it is the highway now), and once we even schlepped our watercraft (he prefers his SUP, I prefer my kayak) out and enjoyed an afternoon on the water. But he is usually in charge of the route and I just follow along. This was my first time on these trails without him, and I was definitely over confident in my ability to direct us to the reservoir beach, which is where I intended to lead us. The snow definitely changed the look of the landscape, and I hadn't been down this way in quite a while (very unfortunately), so I took a wrong turn, and we ended up on the opposite side of the reservoir where the zipline is. But that ended up being fine, just fine, because we were able to walk along the rocky coast for quite a distance, very much enjoying the gorgeous landscape. The sky had the gloomy, foreboding look of the impending storm. The water was almost entirely frozen (and reminded me of the scenes in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind [yes, I often have this movie on my mind] where Joel and Clementine lay on the frozen Charles River.) We were completely alone, and it was stunning being in this natural beauty. 

I had absolutely no idea how to get back to my house, so we used the satellite view on google maps to point us in the right direction. Of course there was no path leading in the direction we needed to go in, so we plodded through the trees, off-trail, up and down hills and rocky terrain, covered in snow, until we miraculously found the trail leading back to my house (the original trail that I had intended on us taking). It was perfect. Not just finding that trail (which produced quite a delightful feeling in me) and getting back home, but the whole experience. Getting lost, then finding our way. Intentions gone wrong turning into a delightful spontaneous journey. Following through on plans and continuing positive habits (of physical, mental, and emotional exercise) instead of cancelling. Taking advantage of the beauty in my backyard instead of ignoring it.

We also had some great discussions, not just catching up on our lives, but delving into deep issues of spirituality and life. I talked about the concept of "ein sof" that I used to study in college but had totally forgotten about in the 15 years since graduating, until she asked me my thoughts about heaven and hell and the afterlife. "Ein sof" means without end, or infinity, and is a concept in Kabbalah (Jewish Mysticism) that God is not a being but exists everywhere in the form of energy. When we die, our energy reunites with the infinite universal energy of the Ein Sof. Everything comes from the Ein Sof, and goes back to the Ein Sof. I hadn't realized that I have really missed studying and considering these subjects, I used to love mulling over these religious and spiritual subjects, and am now inspired to look back on my old college writings and studies to refamiliarize myself with all these ideas I used to have swarming in my mind. 

At one point in our conversation, I mention how I have experienced many coincidences recently (coincidentally, I just listened to a This American Life episode about coincidences). I have always been obsessed with coincidences, once calling them little miracles from God (based on a book called "Truffles from Heaven" that was inspirational to me in high school) and even preaching sermons about how coincidences can be reminders that we are on the right path. I mention a seemingly silly coincidence that I recently mentioned in a blog, that led me from delighting in the Moon Dance episode of Frasier, to googling David Hyde Pierce, to discovering he is gay, to googling his husband, to learning that his husband wrote and produced The Secret World of Alex Mack, which is the source of many conversations and jokes between my husband and I, that I never talk about with anyone else. It was just a super weird coincidence, but I delighted in it. That led me to talk about a few more of my blog entries, including my recent one about Twiddle, a band that I assumed no one else in my circle had even heard of. But not only does she know who Twiddle is, she has seen them live several times and remembers very specific conversations she had with her husband, when they first met, about Twiddle and whether or not a Phish fan can also be a Twiddle fan (apparently there is a controversy in the Phish fan world about Twiddle). What a CRAZY and delightful coincidence that she has such a specific experience with this band that I just randomly discovered on Spotify and fell in love with. Indeed a sign that I am on the right path in life, surrounding myself with the right people, experiencing things I am supposed to be experiencing, even if that path leads me off-trail into the woods where I never intended to go. 

With delight,

♥Jamie